Hold my Hand it'll be Alright
by asylum regular
Summary: He's falling, falling , falling. He'd already lost all he'd known but she still had all he loved. And he thought that if he could just spend the rest of eternity in these happy moments he would never regret a single moment of these years, never regret a single feather.


Levi as an angel

Eren as a human

Every time Levi has a "sinful" thought about Eren, one of his white feathers turns black

Once they all become black, you're a fallen angel

For: komlin

One after another, sure as the sun would rise, they turned black. One, two, sometimes as many as three in a day. All because of one shitty brat.

He barely had any white feathers anymore and he doubted that the ones he had left would last longer than a week. He'd fallen from God's grace just after the tenth feather turned black, fallen in the eyes of the other angels when he gained his seventeenth, fallen from heaven when there were thirty six black feathers nestled in his once pristine white wings.

Now the number seemed laughable. Thirty six? He had over two hundred feathers on his massive wings, thirty six should have been nothing. But thirty six would always be the number that uprooted him from all he'd known. But lying here on Earth, with Eren curled into his side as he slept on oblivious to the angels thoughts, made all two hundred fourty eight feathers worth it.

Ever since he'd first been assigned to Eren he'd thought that the boy was beautiful. Slim limbs that made him look slight but still carried strength, big carribean blue eyes that made his heart skip beats, and a rounded face that made him look slightly childish but cute all the same. If he could stay with this brat as long as the human would live, kissing him good night and good morning, hearing Eren's laugh and seeing his smile, wiping away tears and shooing away frowns, he would be happy.

He let his arms tighten slightly around the sleeping brunette, tugging him closer and assuring himself that he still had time left in the small blink of an eye Eren's life would be. He had years left to hold a warm hand on cold nights... Even if years were like seconds to him. It would have to be enough.

"Levi?"

"Go back to sleep." He hummed, gently pressing a kiss to Eren's forehead in a rare sign of affection.

He felt the now familiar burn on his right wing, it was one of his primary feathers this time. He'd only been thinking that Eren's voice just then had sounded a lot like it did after they- Left wing secondary feather.

Two hundred fifty. He only had six left.

-000-

The day his last feather turned was a rainy one, as if God were mourning the loss of one of his angels.

As the pain ripped through his wing, starting small and spreading until it felt like both of the black feathered appendages were submerged in fire, he had no regrets. Every moment with Eren, every thought that had cost him a feather, was worth it.

At least he still had his halo. God hadn't fully given up on him yet. It was a sign to both him and anyone that knew enough that God would accept him back, that he hadn't fully fallen yet.

He reached up and grabbed the glowing ring with both hands, ignoring the way it burned him. He wouldn't let this go. It was his ticket to spending the rest of eternity with Eren after the human died and ascended. It was the one thing he absolutely couldn't give up.

-000-

When Eren died at eighty seven, Levi cried. He cried for the warmth he would never feel again, the solid touch of skin on skin he would never experience again. He cried for the boy he'd watched since birth. He cried for every moment they'd spent together.

He cried as he prayed to God, asking him to forgive him for his sins, to allow him back to Heaven. He asked God what he'd done wrong. He'd done nothing but love Eren, he shouldn't be punished for that. He still had his halo, God still loved him, was still willing to give him a chance, even without a single white feather to his name.

He sobbed when the halo that had been hovering over his head diligently all these years flickered and dulled before dropping solidly onto his head and sliding off with a whisper as it sliced through the air, nothing more than a large ring of silver now. He stared at the ring, the metalic clang it had made as it struck the floor still rung in his ears. He gently picked up the ring, gripping it tightly. Why?

He screamed when pain ripped through his wings, as he felt each and every feather, all two hundred fifty six, disintegrate into nothing before the wings themselves were ripped from his back.

He asked God why he had to suffer such a horrible fate, when all he had done was love.

-000-

He roused as Eren ran his hands down his now wingless back, tracing the large jagged scars in between his shoulder blades.

The touch was light and felt like a brush of warm air. Spirits didn't have solid forms in heaven.

"Our friends are here. It's time." Eren's voice was quiet as he spoke the words, hand gripping Levi's bicep briefly before he let go and moved into the other room to distract their friends while the former angel got up and dressed.

He pulled on a loose shirt and pants before entering the main room of their small cottage himself. It had been eight hundred fourty three years since Eren had died and Levi's angel status had been ripped from him. He didn't regret a single second of those years.

When he entered Hanji pulled him into a hug, the tall angel chattering excitedly. Erwin, the now former God was being reincarnated today as Erwin Smith. Future commander of the Scouting Legion. Then would be Levi, followed by Isabel, Farlan, and Hanji plus a slew of their other friends. It would be another 10 years after Levi was reborn before Eren would walk the Earth again as Eren Jaeger, humanity's last hope.

Whether it was feathers or years. He hadn't regreted anything he'd lost for the carribean eyed boy. He knew that this new life would be filled with hardships and death but it would all be worth it for the years he could spend holding Eren's hand.


End file.
